Middlesbrough Mayor

The People Of Middlesbrough Voted For A Peoples Mayor
Who Would Faithfully Put
The People Of Middlesbrough First And Foremost

But In The Time Elapsed Since The New Mayor Came Into Office
It Would Sadly Appear That This Is Not The Case As

The Well Reported Study By Both The Mayor And His Deputy
Into The Traffic Problems Of Getting In And Out Of Middlesbrough

So For Doubters In The Abilities Of Those Running Middlesbrough

Plans Were “Afoot”

And It Should Be Noted This Is A Most Appropriate Paraphrase
To Describe The Studies Of Marton Road

Better Known To Users As

“Traffic Light Alley”

This Lighting Stretches From The Top Of Dixon's Bank A Local High Spot
Then Travels Right Into Middlesbrough Town Centre
A Distance Of More Than Five Miles

It Is Believed By Some That This Series Of Lights

Are In Some Way Connected To The Weird Lighting
That Adorns The Tallest Building In Middlesbrough

Many UFO Enthusiasts Believe These Lights
In conjunction With The James Cook University Helicopter Landing Pad Was

Some Form Of Local Authority Attempt To Make Contact With Intelligent Life Forms

That Would Help And Guide Middlesbrough Council
In The Making Of Sensible Road Traffic Planning

So It Was Reported Both Deputy And Mayor Undertook A Walk
The Full Length Of Marton Road

Readers Please Note -

“And After Seeing The Deputy Mayor’s Poor Condition
Towards The End Of This Walk On The Local Television News
It Is Hoped He Is Fully Recovered”

In A Attempt To Identify The Reasons Behind The Traffic Chaos
That Occurs When People Are Traveling To And From Middlesbrough

And It Was Hoped That Plans Could Have Been Formulated To Correct These Problems

As The Mayor Is Well Known For His Enthusiasm For Fitness

Some Believed The Solution Would Be Based On This

Therefore A Plan Was Hoped For That Could Have Worked Two Fold
By Way Of Introducing A Fitness Schedule For People Traveling To Middlesbrough

With Vehicle Users Parking Their Cars Out Of Town

And The Mayor Then Meeting The People To Lead A

“Walk To Work Bus”

It Was Hoped If Successful This Scheme Could Have Been Expanded
To Include The Acklam & Ormesby Roads

For Those Unfortunate Users Of The Two Other Main Routes Into Middlesbrough

The A19 & 66

It Was Believed Local Police Would Have Voiced Objection

Which Is A Shame As During “Rush Hour”

A Expression That Is Humorous To Say The Least

Most Who Use These Routes Would Agree Walking Was And Remains Quicker

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